We the undersigned do hereby formally announce our desire to separate from Danika's body.
We believe that after months of undue stress and torture we can no longer undure the constant abuse: namely the confinement to running shoes, the blisters, the insufficient "moisture wicking" socks, and the burden of supporting her unwieldy frame for kilometers at a time.
We have been patient and long suffering, but today was the last straw. She forced us to carry her through 14.5 grueling kilometers.
What the hell? Drive a car like a normal freaking human being! You psycho!
-Left foot (the badly blistered one) and Right foot.
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